What If The Last Thing You Said To Your Husband Was ACTUALLY The Last Thing You Said To Your Husband?

  Last night, my husband went to a hockey game after work with a business associate.  I didn't really care; hockey isn't really something I enjoy and it meant that I could be home all alone with my remote and Netflix.  What I wasn't a fan of was his coming in at midnight sounding like an elephant that had been air lifted into my home and set free. Lights were flipped on, bathroom and closet doors were slammed, and then I was treated to a musical medley of body scratching, coughing, teeth brushing and nose blowing.Needless to say, I was testy.  I was now wide awake and seething because I know I would never be such an inconsiderate (you fill in the blank) because on those occasions when he goes to bed before me, I take extra care to make sure that I don't wake him up. I make my way into that bedroom like James Bond, stealthily.  I take off my shoes, I brush my teeth in the downstairs bathroom, and I tiptoe into the room slipping ever so silently and gently under the covers. In other words, I am not an inconsiderate animal."Seriously?  You are literally the f***** elephant in the room! It sounds like you have hooves for feet. Shut up!" I say to him clearly infuriated.  "What?  I was quiet!'  He replied, shocked.  I had nothing else to say, so I proceeded to lie there raging for about an hour staring at him and listening to him snore.  I spent quite a bit of that hour imagining ways to smother him and get away with it.This morning, we didn't really talk and now he's left for work.  I'm starting to feel a little regret, and am realizing that if he gets run off the road, leveled by a tractor trailer on the way to work, or has a massive heart attack at his desk (yes, I imagine these types of events all the time; blame my mother), my last words to him were not only awful, but basically spat at him by a crazy woman.Taking it the next logical step, I begin to wonder if in the wake of the tragedy or at the funeral my kids might ask about our final morning together or if I remember our last words? How do I tell them I called their father a f*****elephant and that the day of the tragedy we weren't speaking?I realize we can't all live our lives imagining the worst like me, you know, waiting for that other shoe to drop, but maybe we should be a little more conscious of what we say and how we treat one another.  I'm not truly concerned because the bottom line is that, even if the worst happened today, my husband knows that I love him and that last night, a few nasty words, is not the sum of our relationship. However...I'm thinking for my own peace of mind, I would be happier if our final moments and words together were something I'd be proud of, and not a reminder of me at my worst.  So, although he was a f*****elephant and I'm regretful, not deaf, still, I think I'll go call him now and leave him with some kinder words.  Just in case.So, don't let me hold you up.  Is there a call you need to make?