Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, My Kid Is Me After All

Day 63: Magic Mirror

 "Stop criticizing everything I wear.  I'm 22 years old.  I am perfectly capable of choosing something appropriate.  Could you leave me alone for just two seconds??"  At first it's the tone of her voice, then the hand gestures, and finally the rolling of the eyes seals the deal. I realize,  OH MY GOD, SHE'S ME!  We've all had the moment.  If you have kids, you know what I'm talking about.  Usually it happens when you are most enraged with them; you've got your shaking finger pointed right up in their face, and for a split second it's as if you know the next words that will come out of your mouth because you realize you are channeling your own mother.  And, then, they say something, or do something or they look at you in a certain way, and you know.  You are screaming at yourself.  The realization that they are you and/or your husband, and/or some combination of both is horrifying. It's as if the world has stopped spinning on its axis and you need to find some immediate way to deal with this new reality.Look, we all have parts of ourselves that don't make us the most proud.  We all have things about ourselves we might like to change.  But when we see those parts staring back at us, having transformed into this whole new being, we are at a loss as to how to meet the challenge.  My own mother is fond of telling all of her children just who got what genetically speaking.  She'll say (and this changes based on the situation) that I got the best of her and the worst of my father, or that my sister is the best of him and the best of her and that my poor brother is the worst of both of them.  How is one to deal with that?  Should my brother just give up? Should I hate my sister because clearly mom likes her best; genetically speaking that is.I do the same with my kids.  When my youngest can't seem to remember to do homework, or he can't pay attention long enough for me to tell him how to do laundry, I scream, "you're just like your father, you are driving me crazy." There are also times I'll let my kids off the hook for something because I feel like it's almost not their fault.  "She's sarcastic and can come off really bitchy sometimes.  Sounds like someone else we know, doesn't she?"  When my oldest needs to control the situation, and won't let us play Candy Land, even at age 25, a bit outside of the rules, everyone just raises his eyebrows, shrugs his shoulders and nods in my direction.It's also great when you recognize the best parts of you in your kids.  When they do something or say something that makes you proud you deserve a little credit, after all you are pretty great yourself. To see the best and worst of you and your spouse in your kids is a blessing.  They will add to what we've given them, become themselves and then pass that on.  That's why we, as parents, love to say, "I can't wait til you get one just like you. I'm gonna laugh, laugh, laugh."So mirror mirror on the wall, they are me after all.  Yeah!  Aren't they lucky! (there's that sarcasm...)