When Old People Get An iPhone : Candy Crush Intervention Necessary

 About a year ago, my 70 year -old mom got herself an iPhone.  I was impressed.  Having decided that if she wanted to keep in touch with her grandchildren, travel in the modern world and understand terms like "tweeting," "Instagram" and "FaceTime" she'd better get on board.  Within a few hours and once past the initial frustration of learning a touchscreen, she was hooked.  Really hooked.  Actually, like she needed Dr. Drew hooked.Constantly in her hand, she texted, she took pictures, and worst of all, she gamed.  Solitaire, Words with Friends, Fairway Golf and her latest obsession, Candy Crush.  Daily I am the recipient of, "*** has invited you to play Candy Crush."  In the beginning, the FaceTime requests were bad enough, but this has gone too far.  I get texts that read, "stuck on level 38.  Does anyone get past this?  I think it's a scam.  I'm buying lives."Yesterday, while watching Peyton Manning dominate (I'm a Giant fan so seeing any Manning play well is a plus), I received the following text from her, "Your father got an iphone. He's trying to do Candy Crush.  Help Me.  Moron."  Attached was a picture of my father in his chair, a look of determination on his face, iPhone in hand. It seems that he finally succumbed to the technology and traded in the flip phone he's been carrying for years.  I swear it was only about a week ago he figured out how to put it on vibrate so how was he going to deal with the iPhone???  My guess is he was tired of being an iPhone widow to a wife that wouldn't put the thing down.  Now, they have so much to share and can sit there together, phones in hand, Candy Crushing the hours away.And indeed it seems he's decided to jump head first into the candy crush black hole.  When I spoke to her this morning she had more to share about his first few hours as a junkie. "He's finally stopped threatening to return it.  All day yesterday he kept saying, "This phone is faulty.  The texting doesn't work.  It's going backwards.  Why won't mine click?  Why is there a candy cane now; what's that for?  How come some of these are striped?  What's jelly?  How do you clear the jelly?"  Today she thought she might introduce him to Fairway Golf and that little bastard gopher and maybe they could master Words with Friends tomorrow.  Hey, whatever works.  They've been married over 50 years and still haven't killed one another.  If he surpasses her level in Candy Crush though, all bets are off.