Neighborhood Christmas Party: 5 Ways It's Different In Your 50's Than Your 30's

      We've either been attending or hosting the annual Christmas party in our neighborhood for almost 20 years now. Here are 5 ways it is different now that we are in our 50's:1.  Whom you invite:  Live and learn is the motto and after a few years of watching people sway, tip, and finally tumble into your tree, throw up on your living room floor or use bright red napkins to clean up the wine they tossed onto your ivory, wool carpet, it gets easier to become discriminating and cut a few.  Also, in my 30's I had an all- inclusive mentality and cared far too much about being liked.  Now, I invite whom I like and who can behave.2.  The booze:  Gone are the days of Coors Light and Jaegermeister. Goldschlager, once a party favorite has also gone the way of our youth.  Instead, we drink cosmos, craft beers, fine wines, and talk about our scotch preferences.  We also use real barware instead of red solo cups, although even they seemed very festive 20 years ago.3.  The food:  We've become foodies and expect to be well fed.  Back in the day, nothing hit home like a cheese dip. Put cheese on just about anything and we dove right in. You even got props if it was a funky cheese like Gruyere or Gorgonzola.  Now, we say things like, "The endive with the cranberries, walnuts and goat cheese is delicious."  "Who made the butternut squash tartlet," and "this hummus is so creamy."4.  The clothes:  Our party outfits have become more dignified because let's face it; by now we can afford better. Plus, we tend to dress with a bit more attention to weather, bad backs, and body image.  Now we can only remember fondly the sequined tube tops, the 4- inch heels sliding down the icy front walk on the arm of your drunken husband, and the skirts that were barely covering all that.  These days, we are warm, we cover body parts (granted those parts don't look like they used to, so everyone wins here), we wear practical shoes for winter nights and we have changed out of the sequined tube tops into sequined designer wear.5.  The conversation:  Words like colonoscopy, dietary fiber, cat scan, ten-year yields and Botox dominate this new landscape. Instead of talking about the kids' ridiculous amounts of 5th grade homework, pre-school sing-a-longs, Halloween costumes, Power Rangers and Pokemon, we talk about them moving in with girlfriends. We talk about the lengthy research we did before putting our parents into assisted living, we compare blood pressures, hot flashes and orthotics. I am terrified of what will come over the next 20 years.  Diapers and Ensure?So enjoy your parties and remember, the time goes really fast, so dress trashy and eat crappy while you still can!  Merry Christmas.